after living in asia for two years, it should come to no suprise to me that korea university has asked me to take part in a four hour midterm tomorrow. this comes not even a month after beginning the four-hours-a-day, five-days-a-week course. what does aggravate me, however, is that so far, our preperation for this midterm- longer than any test i've taken in my life save for university admissions tests- has been TWO TEN-MINUTE, TEN-QUESTION QUIZZES. these have hardly been preparation for a grueling four hour midterm which involves, reading, listening, speaking, and writing.
although i find this humorous, i'm hardly worried about this exam. tonight i should be cramming along with everyone else, but i won't. i find korean to be easy (compared to its chinese counterpart!) but i believe my teachers to think otherwise. so what if i need a full three minutes more than everyone else to digest the material? the point is, i understand and tomorrow i will do well answering questions at my own pace instead of that of those students who failed first semester.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
a century of fakers
This is a quote from Belle & Sebastian and a preview of what I want to write about today.
For the past few years, I've gradually become more and more aware that really, in my opinion, everyone is a just copycat of another. I mean, in a world of 6.7 billion people, there's bound to be repetition and unoriginality. In my pessimistic view of the world, most everything humans do or stay is stolen from another source. Within pop culture alone, how many times have I heard people wittingly use the phrase "Va jay jay" that Grey's Anatomy made famous back in its first season. Or it could be Paris Hilton's "That's hot!" or Tim Gunn's "Make it work!"
I also believe movies, for example, romantic comedies play a huge part in this. How many times have we watched a romantic comedy filled with cliches and then gone home and used them still? There are ways to express "I love you" that aren't pretentious. It doesn't have to be a drawn out, dramatic metaphor.
Even in common conversations, I find we all overuse the same phrases in the same conversations with different people. How dull is that? To a point, I think it's all fake. I mean, how many times can I listen to someone try to participate in a discussion on philosophy without sounding like their full of shit? Half the time, I don't even think people know what their talking about, they just think it sounds intelligent. It all comes down to the same ideas expressed with the same words.
[In this way, I've always identified with Holden Caulfield, which is probably why "The Catcher in the Rye" is one of my favorite books. Sometimes I just can't find the value in life. Everything is the same in my cynical, jaded worldview.]
Whatever it is, I find that many if not most of my language has been affected by external stimuli as well. I can't help but steal quotes from movies, television, and books and try to pass them off as my own. In my attempt at being unique, I also fail. But in the end, there are times that I realize I am unique, even if most of me is not. I can't think of anyone else that does homework or studies at bars over a glass(es) of beer. Nor do I know anyone who after a full-night out of dancing and drinking is wide-awake on the subway at 6 a.m. studying GRE flash cards, while everyone else is completely passed out. And for some reason, caffeine has no effect on me and mosquitoes stay clear of me.
So maybe it's the minute details that polish a person off as being unique. This is my theory: 90% unoriginality, 10% original, this is what makes an individual and we can't escape it. Therefore, it's necessary to search deeper for the points of interest that truly separate us from others.
For the past few years, I've gradually become more and more aware that really, in my opinion, everyone is a just copycat of another. I mean, in a world of 6.7 billion people, there's bound to be repetition and unoriginality. In my pessimistic view of the world, most everything humans do or stay is stolen from another source. Within pop culture alone, how many times have I heard people wittingly use the phrase "Va jay jay" that Grey's Anatomy made famous back in its first season. Or it could be Paris Hilton's "That's hot!" or Tim Gunn's "Make it work!"
I also believe movies, for example, romantic comedies play a huge part in this. How many times have we watched a romantic comedy filled with cliches and then gone home and used them still? There are ways to express "I love you" that aren't pretentious. It doesn't have to be a drawn out, dramatic metaphor.
Even in common conversations, I find we all overuse the same phrases in the same conversations with different people. How dull is that? To a point, I think it's all fake. I mean, how many times can I listen to someone try to participate in a discussion on philosophy without sounding like their full of shit? Half the time, I don't even think people know what their talking about, they just think it sounds intelligent. It all comes down to the same ideas expressed with the same words.
[In this way, I've always identified with Holden Caulfield, which is probably why "The Catcher in the Rye" is one of my favorite books. Sometimes I just can't find the value in life. Everything is the same in my cynical, jaded worldview.]
Whatever it is, I find that many if not most of my language has been affected by external stimuli as well. I can't help but steal quotes from movies, television, and books and try to pass them off as my own. In my attempt at being unique, I also fail. But in the end, there are times that I realize I am unique, even if most of me is not. I can't think of anyone else that does homework or studies at bars over a glass(es) of beer. Nor do I know anyone who after a full-night out of dancing and drinking is wide-awake on the subway at 6 a.m. studying GRE flash cards, while everyone else is completely passed out. And for some reason, caffeine has no effect on me and mosquitoes stay clear of me.
So maybe it's the minute details that polish a person off as being unique. This is my theory: 90% unoriginality, 10% original, this is what makes an individual and we can't escape it. Therefore, it's necessary to search deeper for the points of interest that truly separate us from others.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
the DNC, day three and four
i thought bill clinton did a good job of covering what hillary has missed the day before: that they have rescinded their comments on how barack isn't ready to be president.
i also enjoyed al gore's afternoon speech which primarily focused on his passion, the climate crisis. i also think it was a very good idea for him to refer to what's going on in the world as a climate crisis, which i believe only a certified idiot could dispute, in contrast to global warming, which many people deem as hearsay. but i also think that instead of rattling off so-called facts about the effects of the climate crisis, al could invoke more pathos by simply asking americans rhetorically if we've seen a difference in wheather of the past years. i think the answer would be a collective, unequivocal, "yes." summers are hotter, winter's are colder, fires are raging, hurricanes are swirling, and people are dying because of it all. we hear that on the news nearly every day but to put those realizations into a larger, extended context, is more difficult for some people.
joe biden's speech was effective in introducing himself to american's like me who know nothing about who he is. i think it was a very strategic pick by barack to pick biden, who, on the surface, is everything he's not: old and white. barack's speech on thursday didn't give me chills like hillary's or bill's, but i think that's something that only comes with time. we all have a long history with the clintons and once we have that with the obamas, chills will abound.
what i'm not looking forward to is the RNC this week. i firmly believe they will have the upper hand going second. but what i really hate is mccain's pick for vice-prez, a woman from alaska. if obama's pick for VP was strategic, mccain's pick was downright dirty. i 100% doubt mccain's sincerity. i believe that if he wasn't trying to steal votes from those who would have voted for hillary or try seem like a good guy who wants to run a historically non-traditional ticket, he NEVER would have pick sarah palin from alaska.
i also enjoyed al gore's afternoon speech which primarily focused on his passion, the climate crisis. i also think it was a very good idea for him to refer to what's going on in the world as a climate crisis, which i believe only a certified idiot could dispute, in contrast to global warming, which many people deem as hearsay. but i also think that instead of rattling off so-called facts about the effects of the climate crisis, al could invoke more pathos by simply asking americans rhetorically if we've seen a difference in wheather of the past years. i think the answer would be a collective, unequivocal, "yes." summers are hotter, winter's are colder, fires are raging, hurricanes are swirling, and people are dying because of it all. we hear that on the news nearly every day but to put those realizations into a larger, extended context, is more difficult for some people.
joe biden's speech was effective in introducing himself to american's like me who know nothing about who he is. i think it was a very strategic pick by barack to pick biden, who, on the surface, is everything he's not: old and white. barack's speech on thursday didn't give me chills like hillary's or bill's, but i think that's something that only comes with time. we all have a long history with the clintons and once we have that with the obamas, chills will abound.
what i'm not looking forward to is the RNC this week. i firmly believe they will have the upper hand going second. but what i really hate is mccain's pick for vice-prez, a woman from alaska. if obama's pick for VP was strategic, mccain's pick was downright dirty. i 100% doubt mccain's sincerity. i believe that if he wasn't trying to steal votes from those who would have voted for hillary or try seem like a good guy who wants to run a historically non-traditional ticket, he NEVER would have pick sarah palin from alaska.
alejandro sanz
i discovered this man years ago, thanks to my two guatemalan music sharing friends and brothers. known more in america for his duet with shakira in the song "la tortura," alejandro has been a legend in spain and other spanish speaking countries for over a decade and there's no doubt why: he has one of the sexiest voices i have ever heard. hearing his voice alone during the choruses of "la tortura" is enough to send me into overdrive. nevermind the images of him taking shakira at the chopping board while prepearing dinner. so, it also doesn't hurt that he, himself, is sexy. or that he's from the province of jerez whose principal city is cadiz, the city that captured my heart when i spent three weeks there in 2004. he is a local hero there, even leading the carnival parade, the largest and most popular festival in the city. since then, i've been working on procuring my residence there, with alejandro in his jerez home, as his wife, but i have yet to hear back.
below, alejandro is pictured for his "no es lo mismo" album. of note is his torro (bull) tattoo, which all spainards often arrogantly identify with.
below, alejandro is pictured for his "no es lo mismo" album. of note is his torro (bull) tattoo, which all spainards often arrogantly identify with.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
this still kills me
maybe it's because i'm overseas, but i haven't heard anyone talking about what hillary rodham clinton was wearing for her 2008 DNC speech. personal attire, while not a major factor, does play an important role in the subconcious minds of americans. so with that, i want to ask, what was hillary thinking?
who on earth told her it's okay to wear an all-neon orange pants suit? unless she's going to a rave in which case, she'd be terribly overdressed. here she is, which her much more appropriately dressed daughter.
even if wearing an all-neon orange pants suit is acceptable, only those six feet tall and thin can pull that shiz off. so in a way, this is another good example of why hillary should not have been president. for goodness sake, the world's leaders would show up in washington thinking they were going to a disco party on skates! can you imagine vladmir putin lacing up, playing with glow sticks, and dancing to "Oh! Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!"? Didn't think so.
who on earth told her it's okay to wear an all-neon orange pants suit? unless she's going to a rave in which case, she'd be terribly overdressed. here she is, which her much more appropriately dressed daughter.
even if wearing an all-neon orange pants suit is acceptable, only those six feet tall and thin can pull that shiz off. so in a way, this is another good example of why hillary should not have been president. for goodness sake, the world's leaders would show up in washington thinking they were going to a disco party on skates! can you imagine vladmir putin lacing up, playing with glow sticks, and dancing to "Oh! Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey!"? Didn't think so.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
the DNC, day one and two
although i like to follow politics, sometimes it gets to be too much and too petty, so i allow myself to tune out for a while. but the democratic national convention is one of those times when i tune back in see how the politics are playing out in the race and to feel inspired. this year is no different and is quite special for a few reasons.
one, it was the 2004 boston DNC that catapulted barack obama onto the national political stage (pun intended), earning rave remarks from political analysts for his speech in support of his predecessor, john kerry. perhaps the only people who had heard the obama name before that were his fellow illinois residents and avid political enthusiasts. and now it's obama headlining the convention as a relatively unknown senator and the first black presidential candidate in america's history. 'tis a mighty proud feat.
two, well-seasoned orators are in abundance. the first night proved that a brain tumor won't keep ted kennedy from delivering a supportive speech to kick-start the convention. and michelle obama showed that she could rise to the occasion, supporting her husband on short notice of his candidacy. speaking to millions of viewers with hope in their hearts for the future, she told the story of her & his families and of their pride for the country that they live in. though this is the most wide-reaching and important platform she has delivered a speech on, she was calm and eloquent in her words.
today, day two, formerly headbutting hillary clinton shined as she gave what could have been a disastrous speech. with an acrimonious nature, she could have claimed the stage for herself instead of passing the spotlight off to obama, but she did not. instead, she gave a powerful speech that had the audience cheering for minutes and impatiently awaiting the day they could cast their ballots for barack. while she failed to address her previous apprehensions about obama's readiness for the chief position, there is no doubt that she can speak flawlessly and with enough conviction to rile up the party. even though she was never my first pick for prez, i've never doubted her force, particularly in the political arena. make no doubt about it, hillary is a bad ass who can run with the rest of 'em.
so here's to hoping that tomorrow bill and biden can build off of this foundation and set barack up to top it all off on thursday.
one, it was the 2004 boston DNC that catapulted barack obama onto the national political stage (pun intended), earning rave remarks from political analysts for his speech in support of his predecessor, john kerry. perhaps the only people who had heard the obama name before that were his fellow illinois residents and avid political enthusiasts. and now it's obama headlining the convention as a relatively unknown senator and the first black presidential candidate in america's history. 'tis a mighty proud feat.
two, well-seasoned orators are in abundance. the first night proved that a brain tumor won't keep ted kennedy from delivering a supportive speech to kick-start the convention. and michelle obama showed that she could rise to the occasion, supporting her husband on short notice of his candidacy. speaking to millions of viewers with hope in their hearts for the future, she told the story of her & his families and of their pride for the country that they live in. though this is the most wide-reaching and important platform she has delivered a speech on, she was calm and eloquent in her words.
today, day two, formerly headbutting hillary clinton shined as she gave what could have been a disastrous speech. with an acrimonious nature, she could have claimed the stage for herself instead of passing the spotlight off to obama, but she did not. instead, she gave a powerful speech that had the audience cheering for minutes and impatiently awaiting the day they could cast their ballots for barack. while she failed to address her previous apprehensions about obama's readiness for the chief position, there is no doubt that she can speak flawlessly and with enough conviction to rile up the party. even though she was never my first pick for prez, i've never doubted her force, particularly in the political arena. make no doubt about it, hillary is a bad ass who can run with the rest of 'em.
so here's to hoping that tomorrow bill and biden can build off of this foundation and set barack up to top it all off on thursday.
the costs of conscience
this morning i capriciously decided to make a trip to the local hospital in hopes of finding closure to many of my plethora of ailments. all in all, i would say it was a satisfactory visit. even though it took nearly 7 hours and cost me around $400 (such is the life of an uninsured deteriorating individual), the hospital offers an international clinic with english speaking volunteers who could accompany to my various locations and appointments. also, i think it says a lot that i was a walk-in this morning around 10:30 and saw !four different doctors, got x-rays, and all the medication i need in just one days' working hours. here is the break down of my body visit:
the number one desire that spurred the visit was my curiosity over the disease ADHD. it may come as a shock, and many people joke that they have it everyday, but i think i might have a very mild form of ADHD. the more research i do about it, the more i think i have it. i'm not very HD but they say that abates into adulthood. i've definitely managed fine over the years but i've always wondered why i work so hard to remember so little, or why i can never look someone in the eye because i'm distracted by everything else, or why i'm so damn impatient. now i don't want to be just fine, i want to be fantastic. well, curiosity killed the cat but i now have a script for concerta and thus, the experiment begins. why now? if it works, i could use the boost for gre prep. hopefully concerta works the same miracles for me as adderall does for others.
number two, my legs haven't been right since i started running again over a month ago. first it was my knees/lower quads and now it's my left leg upper quad/pelvis region that's preventing me from continuing on my exercise regimen. and if i don't continue running, my nerves will flare up again which leads to next reason....
number three, the e.r. doc told me over a month ago that i might need neurosurgery and that was a big woah. when he said it it all made sense, the tingling sensation at two specific points on my back and down my right arm, along with the burning sensation under my right shoulder blade, and prickling feeling on the heels of my feet. today's second opinion repudiates the e.r. doc's claim though and so i've been prescribed with some anti-anxiety pills to loosen me up more. i also have to return in two weeks for the results of the spinal x-rays to see if it's a posture problem or dislocated disk.
number four, i have conjunctivitis, a.k.a. pink eye. i knew that going in this morning as i had already self-diagnosed myself using webmd.com. all i needed was the confirmation and the anti-biotic eye drops.
so these are my costs of conscience, limited only to today and therefore excluding the penalties i pay for it on other days.
the number one desire that spurred the visit was my curiosity over the disease ADHD. it may come as a shock, and many people joke that they have it everyday, but i think i might have a very mild form of ADHD. the more research i do about it, the more i think i have it. i'm not very HD but they say that abates into adulthood. i've definitely managed fine over the years but i've always wondered why i work so hard to remember so little, or why i can never look someone in the eye because i'm distracted by everything else, or why i'm so damn impatient. now i don't want to be just fine, i want to be fantastic. well, curiosity killed the cat but i now have a script for concerta and thus, the experiment begins. why now? if it works, i could use the boost for gre prep. hopefully concerta works the same miracles for me as adderall does for others.
number two, my legs haven't been right since i started running again over a month ago. first it was my knees/lower quads and now it's my left leg upper quad/pelvis region that's preventing me from continuing on my exercise regimen. and if i don't continue running, my nerves will flare up again which leads to next reason....
number three, the e.r. doc told me over a month ago that i might need neurosurgery and that was a big woah. when he said it it all made sense, the tingling sensation at two specific points on my back and down my right arm, along with the burning sensation under my right shoulder blade, and prickling feeling on the heels of my feet. today's second opinion repudiates the e.r. doc's claim though and so i've been prescribed with some anti-anxiety pills to loosen me up more. i also have to return in two weeks for the results of the spinal x-rays to see if it's a posture problem or dislocated disk.
number four, i have conjunctivitis, a.k.a. pink eye. i knew that going in this morning as i had already self-diagnosed myself using webmd.com. all i needed was the confirmation and the anti-biotic eye drops.
so these are my costs of conscience, limited only to today and therefore excluding the penalties i pay for it on other days.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
on war
From my student's textbook:
"Critics warn that any recreation of war is bound to glamorize it, even if the director's intention is to horrify the audience. Film director and critic, Francois Truffaut, felt that the very nature of film made it impossible to show war without making it too attractive, and so did the great director, writer and producer Samuel Fuller who criticized and dismissed most war movies as 'recruiting pictures.' Some young men feel that they are proving their maniless by watching gory simulations of warfare. The films' grueling footage is the closest thing that they have experienced to real combat, so they mislead themselves into believeing they are passing some test merely by watching it."
AGREED.
"Critics warn that any recreation of war is bound to glamorize it, even if the director's intention is to horrify the audience. Film director and critic, Francois Truffaut, felt that the very nature of film made it impossible to show war without making it too attractive, and so did the great director, writer and producer Samuel Fuller who criticized and dismissed most war movies as 'recruiting pictures.' Some young men feel that they are proving their maniless by watching gory simulations of warfare. The films' grueling footage is the closest thing that they have experienced to real combat, so they mislead themselves into believeing they are passing some test merely by watching it."
AGREED.
Monday, August 18, 2008
in the sauna, where i can find pleasure
for some reason or another, no other than the village people came to mind as fitting for my korean sauna post. so, i shall continue by stating that the YMCA is no longer where it's at.
infamous with foreigners in korea as the place where you must drop to your skivvy's and get nekkid, the jjimjilbang is something like heaven and tonight, i can finally agree.
after multiple trips to the 찜질방 and it's japanese/american counterpart throughout my life, i always felt disappointed, usually leaving with a headache. i surmised it was due to my prolonged submersion in the hot bath and/or steam/dry room.
tonight was perfect though. i only stayed for thirty minutes and i realized the trick for me is alternating between the hot and cold bath, the latter i was previously too whimpy to do more than stick my big toe in. the fact is that going from a 100F to a 60F degree bath is exhilarating, causing my heart palpitate and my muscles to tingle all over. i can say with certainty that i'm going to have a wonderful night of sleep and i can thank it all to my life skillz training. you see, every summer i immerse myself in a program of cold water shock therapy in case the communists ever catch me and try to use their torture tactics on me. i never could have guessed this would have more practical benefits in store for me.
and with the 찜질방 costing a mere $6 and offering a variety of baths, rooms, showers with amenities, and other rooms like karaoke, doctor fish (more on this some other time), mini-cinemas, bars, and sleeping quarters, visiting is without a doubt one of the easiest decisions you can make here.
i see my future now, steaming off the hot bath, me basking in it. i should inquire about frequent visitor cards.
infamous with foreigners in korea as the place where you must drop to your skivvy's and get nekkid, the jjimjilbang is something like heaven and tonight, i can finally agree.
after multiple trips to the 찜질방 and it's japanese/american counterpart throughout my life, i always felt disappointed, usually leaving with a headache. i surmised it was due to my prolonged submersion in the hot bath and/or steam/dry room.
tonight was perfect though. i only stayed for thirty minutes and i realized the trick for me is alternating between the hot and cold bath, the latter i was previously too whimpy to do more than stick my big toe in. the fact is that going from a 100F to a 60F degree bath is exhilarating, causing my heart palpitate and my muscles to tingle all over. i can say with certainty that i'm going to have a wonderful night of sleep and i can thank it all to my life skillz training. you see, every summer i immerse myself in a program of cold water shock therapy in case the communists ever catch me and try to use their torture tactics on me. i never could have guessed this would have more practical benefits in store for me.
and with the 찜질방 costing a mere $6 and offering a variety of baths, rooms, showers with amenities, and other rooms like karaoke, doctor fish (more on this some other time), mini-cinemas, bars, and sleeping quarters, visiting is without a doubt one of the easiest decisions you can make here.
i see my future now, steaming off the hot bath, me basking in it. i should inquire about frequent visitor cards.
Monday, August 11, 2008
cracking the gre
so here it is. between the gre study guide words no. 126 (soporific: causing sleep or lethargy) and no. 127 (specious: seeming plausible but actually fallacious), my future has been written in a PILOT Super Grip 07. that is, the confirmation code, date, time, and location of the first half of my gre test: the analytical writing portion. there's no turning back now. september 19th is the last possible day i can take the first half of the exam in order to qualify for the second half, on october 25th. otherwise, i'll have to wait another six months.
well, i guess i could always turn back but it'll cost me a pretty penny.
anyways, i'm pretty pumped for it now. though i only made this rash decision one and half weeks ago and almost had to visit the porcelain gods because of it, i'm enjoying studying. moreso, i'm enjoying studying english! for once instead of some other silly language (read: chinese and korean). i only started a few days ago but i'm already up to about 160 words and their definitions memorized. i hear my goal should be 800.
then it's the big time: quantitative reasoning. then my visit with the porcelain gods just might come true.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
karma code
while eating a very late brunch today (4 p.m.!) at my fave spot to serve american breakfast, i got to thinking about karma. you see, my friend's mom came to visit and said she was a total bitch to her. she then went on to explain how she got some black&blue bruises on her body. it was then, i started thinking.
i wonder, could there be a code book for karma?
for example, being a bitch to your mom = receiving several nasty-looking bruises on your body?
it could turn into another case of an eye for an eye, an ear for an ear. stealing something from somebody = something awful happening to your fingers, or having something stolen from you.
we may never be able to pinpoint direct links to our less than stellar actions and those that occur to us, but it just may be possible that there is a code for karma.
for the first social experiment, i shall be a bitch to my mom and see if any bruises appear.
i wonder, could there be a code book for karma?
for example, being a bitch to your mom = receiving several nasty-looking bruises on your body?
it could turn into another case of an eye for an eye, an ear for an ear. stealing something from somebody = something awful happening to your fingers, or having something stolen from you.
we may never be able to pinpoint direct links to our less than stellar actions and those that occur to us, but it just may be possible that there is a code for karma.
for the first social experiment, i shall be a bitch to my mom and see if any bruises appear.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
olympic fever
i have a lot of great memories from the 2000 summer olympics in sydney, australia. i remember being glued to the television every night watching bob costas report on my favorite international athletes wearing either skin-tight uniforms on the pommel horse or next to nothing in the pool. and if that wasn't enough, waking up the next morning to see the winners giving interviews on the today show, which was aired on location. noone can take these memories away from me. unfortunately, i spent the 2004 summer olympic season in spain and was unable to to watch, though i ran to the internet cafe to check the standings all the same.
fast-forward to 2008 and i am once again, missing american nightly coverage of the beijing olympics. in fact, it's a strange feeling for me to be interested in watching any sort of sports competition, as i usually deem it as a waste of my precious time. however, the olympics is able to transform what otherwise would be an ordinary viewing experience for me into something special, something i can relate to. as unpatriotic as i can be at times, i do have a sense of pride for america's atheletes and their stories. bob costas has always been good at bringing on the pathos, showing montages of each competitors backstory, of all the struggles and successes.
this years olympics are also particularly special to me because of their location, the great country of china, near and dear to my heart. while i find it ridiculous that the commies are already not playing be the rules, i have to laugh at the media being up in arms over their censorship, something that i've already grown accustomed to in china. websites like youtube.com, wikipedia.org, and bbc.com are notoriously firewalled and it's suprising that the olympic committee couldn't have known this information before they picked beijing as the location. or that they could have even trusted the commies to follow the rules and regulations of playing host.
in any case, i know this is a proud moment in the damaged past of china, and that 1.4 billion chinese could not be more thrilled to have china be put on the map in one giant way. i am proud for them, too; i've never visited a country whose people loved their country as much as they do. so many bad things are said about china, surely we can all name them. but there is still so much good that shouldn't be overshadowed and i think the rest of the world seriously needs to take notice that china is and will take over the world in a few decades.
in the meantime, good luck to all the american's competing. bring home the gold!
fast-forward to 2008 and i am once again, missing american nightly coverage of the beijing olympics. in fact, it's a strange feeling for me to be interested in watching any sort of sports competition, as i usually deem it as a waste of my precious time. however, the olympics is able to transform what otherwise would be an ordinary viewing experience for me into something special, something i can relate to. as unpatriotic as i can be at times, i do have a sense of pride for america's atheletes and their stories. bob costas has always been good at bringing on the pathos, showing montages of each competitors backstory, of all the struggles and successes.
this years olympics are also particularly special to me because of their location, the great country of china, near and dear to my heart. while i find it ridiculous that the commies are already not playing be the rules, i have to laugh at the media being up in arms over their censorship, something that i've already grown accustomed to in china. websites like youtube.com, wikipedia.org, and bbc.com are notoriously firewalled and it's suprising that the olympic committee couldn't have known this information before they picked beijing as the location. or that they could have even trusted the commies to follow the rules and regulations of playing host.
in any case, i know this is a proud moment in the damaged past of china, and that 1.4 billion chinese could not be more thrilled to have china be put on the map in one giant way. i am proud for them, too; i've never visited a country whose people loved their country as much as they do. so many bad things are said about china, surely we can all name them. but there is still so much good that shouldn't be overshadowed and i think the rest of the world seriously needs to take notice that china is and will take over the world in a few decades.
in the meantime, good luck to all the american's competing. bring home the gold!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
things i learned at work: parte uno
i never thought teaching english could be so mentally stimulating. the other teachers claim that it's only because this is my first time. you see, material is recycled every other term so once i see it again in the winter, i'm going to want to blow my brains out. the class schedule is always the same, so without the interesting, new material, i'm never going to be able to stop myself from yawning. anyhoo, this is just one of the topics i've learned about so far.
there are three kinds of dreams: healing, prophetic, and epic dreams. the first two are characterized by their content, whereas epic dreams are only characterized by their magnitude. epic dreams are the ones that you remember for a long time.
for example, i confessed to my students that my most epic of all epic dreams was about the teenage mutant ninja turtles trying to save me from the evil shredder. this is not a lie. i'll never really understand why this dream terrified me to the point of waking up in a sweaty panic. the only other epic dream i had involved me driving down a suburban road at night, much like grand ave. in gurnee, with closed superstores on both sides of me. the unforgettable moment being me smoking a cigarrette, i think with my father.
healing dreams are somewhat physical dreams. the try to tell the dreamer about their body, their health, that perhaps we need to visit the dentist or doctor.
prophetic dreams are concerned with the precognitive. for example, information that we normally overlook in our everyday lives because of its apparent insignificance is pieced together to shed some light on the future we cannot yet see.
i also learned that women are much more likely to dream in color. when i polled the class, this statement seemed to be verified, as every boy couldn't definitely say they dreamed in color (myself included) while many of the girls knew absolutely that they did.
and why don't some people dream in color? well, colors tend to be one of the things we overlook in our everday lives because they are so natural to us, so our dreams mimic our consciousness. another theory is that we all, in fact, dream in color but forget about these details upon waking up because remembering our dreams is already difficult enough.
i find this all fascinating. what's more is that i'm reading pride and prejudice now, for the first time ever, granted it's been adapted for third graders. oh well. i'll take what i can get.
there are three kinds of dreams: healing, prophetic, and epic dreams. the first two are characterized by their content, whereas epic dreams are only characterized by their magnitude. epic dreams are the ones that you remember for a long time.
for example, i confessed to my students that my most epic of all epic dreams was about the teenage mutant ninja turtles trying to save me from the evil shredder. this is not a lie. i'll never really understand why this dream terrified me to the point of waking up in a sweaty panic. the only other epic dream i had involved me driving down a suburban road at night, much like grand ave. in gurnee, with closed superstores on both sides of me. the unforgettable moment being me smoking a cigarrette, i think with my father.
healing dreams are somewhat physical dreams. the try to tell the dreamer about their body, their health, that perhaps we need to visit the dentist or doctor.
prophetic dreams are concerned with the precognitive. for example, information that we normally overlook in our everyday lives because of its apparent insignificance is pieced together to shed some light on the future we cannot yet see.
i also learned that women are much more likely to dream in color. when i polled the class, this statement seemed to be verified, as every boy couldn't definitely say they dreamed in color (myself included) while many of the girls knew absolutely that they did.
and why don't some people dream in color? well, colors tend to be one of the things we overlook in our everday lives because they are so natural to us, so our dreams mimic our consciousness. another theory is that we all, in fact, dream in color but forget about these details upon waking up because remembering our dreams is already difficult enough.
i find this all fascinating. what's more is that i'm reading pride and prejudice now, for the first time ever, granted it's been adapted for third graders. oh well. i'll take what i can get.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
to tell or not to tell
the most defining act as a gay is without a doubt, coming out of the closet, particularly to family. there are numerous factors that weigh in on whether to come out or not, but in the end, i firmly believe that you either have the courage to do it or you don't.
as a gay who has come out of the closet to his family, i am very critical of those who don't for various reasons. it seems the most effective reason for gays never leaving the closet is the burden that their homosexuality will have on their parents. for me, this is a non-facter.
in my overly-simplified analysis the coming out experience i believe you choose your destiny: either you live an entire life of lies, or you live freely, no matter the consequences.
i recently met a gay 23-year-old korean boy who confessed to me that he wanted to "keep his problem secret from his family forever, if possible." up until that point, he had been courting me and it was then that i had to say goodbye. most of the men i meet who hold the same view have a hat filled with excuses in which they just pull out one right after the other to try to justify their thinking. the most common excuse is "this is not america. in america it's easy!"
this is like adding fuel to the fire. coming out is not easy for anyone, anywhere. and how can they think america is so open to homosexuality?
many of us live in bubbles. but putting accepting regional bubbles or circles of friendly friends aside, most of america doesn't condone homosexuality.
last night, a gay aussie confided in me that if i was looking for love in korea, i would never find it. what did he have to back that up? 8 and 1/2 years of living as an expatriate in seoul. he revealed that most koreans put family and friends before romantic relationships, particularly gays who find it difficult to see why they should live their lives out in the open.
as a gay who has come out of the closet to his family, i am very critical of those who don't for various reasons. it seems the most effective reason for gays never leaving the closet is the burden that their homosexuality will have on their parents. for me, this is a non-facter.
in my overly-simplified analysis the coming out experience i believe you choose your destiny: either you live an entire life of lies, or you live freely, no matter the consequences.
i recently met a gay 23-year-old korean boy who confessed to me that he wanted to "keep his problem secret from his family forever, if possible." up until that point, he had been courting me and it was then that i had to say goodbye. most of the men i meet who hold the same view have a hat filled with excuses in which they just pull out one right after the other to try to justify their thinking. the most common excuse is "this is not america. in america it's easy!"
this is like adding fuel to the fire. coming out is not easy for anyone, anywhere. and how can they think america is so open to homosexuality?
many of us live in bubbles. but putting accepting regional bubbles or circles of friendly friends aside, most of america doesn't condone homosexuality.
last night, a gay aussie confided in me that if i was looking for love in korea, i would never find it. what did he have to back that up? 8 and 1/2 years of living as an expatriate in seoul. he revealed that most koreans put family and friends before romantic relationships, particularly gays who find it difficult to see why they should live their lives out in the open.
what concerns me the most about it all though is that the gays i meet seemingly carelessly live gay secret lives and then refer to their sexuality as a "problem." or that have the balls to ask me not to out them to others, pulling me in with their lies. or that they could even conceive of the fact that not telling their parents would be a better decision than lying to themselves or waiting until they've travelled farther down the road.
number one, you have to be true to yourself, no matter what.
number two, if there's any doubt in your mind that you will tell your parents later in life, do it now. it's only going to be worse for you when you're older, when they're older. you might have a boyfriend or bevliving with someone; imagine them trying to digest this additional information all at once. telling them now gives them the time to cope with it and hopefully, come to terms with it so that later down the road, other obstacles will come much more easily.
number three, if you're parents truly love you, they will be there for you. even if they kick you out and claim to never want to speak to you again, if you ever are in trouble, chances are they'll help you out despite how they feel about your sexuality.
number four, it's not a problem. banishing that correlation in your mind is step one.
coming out is not easy. there are some lucky ones whose families make it easier for them but no matter what, living a lie is a dark shadow on your character and the only way to be enlightened is to tell the truth. in the end, if you're always afraid, no one will ever come to accept it. to tell or not to tell: it's not a question.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
giving birth to the blog
having a child requires many things: sex between a man and a woman brave (or stupid) enough not to use any contraception, 9 months of waiting, lots of money, and a lifetime of filial commitments.
giving birth to this blog has been a uniquely arduous experience for me, requiring nearly 3 hours of testing blog names for availability as the importance of a fitting blog name is high. apparently, previously thought obscure lyrics have already been taken for use.
and so without further ado, here it is: my graduation from 'notes.' i have arrived.
giving birth to this blog has been a uniquely arduous experience for me, requiring nearly 3 hours of testing blog names for availability as the importance of a fitting blog name is high. apparently, previously thought obscure lyrics have already been taken for use.
and so without further ado, here it is: my graduation from 'notes.' i have arrived.
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