pda (i just don't care)

or so says john legend anyway.

i find myself asking myself the same question.

what do you think?

now that i've all but announced to my adult students that i'll be gone in two weeks time, i've found myself with a newfound freedom, divulging more of myself to them than ever before. this includes sexuality, which i don't find appropriate as classroom fodder for any students or teachers in a classroom setting. however, i've been asking myself if i thought it would be okay to let loose a little in social settings.

well let loose i may have done last night when i invited a boy to a party where one of my students was in attendance. considering all of the factors, do you think light pda is appropriate or not within the visibility of your students?

decisions, decisions

i imagine the greater percentage of posts to be posted from here on out will pertain to my departure and this does not differ.

i submitted my resignation today to the lovely american language communication center, about which i have not written much here. i will definitely miss the constant addition of new students to my class who aren't up to speed on grammar and vocabulary as well as promptly decling to substitute teach a class minutes before it starts. i will also miss the funny smell in the teacher's room closet.

but i do give thanks and due respect to my source of weekly paychecks, which are not available for direct deposit.

the backup plan

unlike jennifer lopez, my backup plan is not to have a baby with my best gay friend. in fact, my backup plan far exceeds pregnancy, babies, and falling in love with someone who is not my gbff. it involves the one and only koreauuhhhh.

tonight i leave toronto and tomorrow will be the first day of the end of new york and america, the third time over. more than being nervous about going back to korea though, i am already regretting promising a month stay to my mom at her abode. not because i will get to see my high school bffs, but because my stay will likely end in my mother and i at each other's necks. i can't help but think i'd rather stay in nyc for the month of may and gallivant in the spring sunshine instead of dying a slow miserable death in the 'burbs of chicago.

but for better or for worse, i'm trying to be the best son i can be.

so here's the final two weeks of the city where dreams are made of. and where only in my dreams i could imagined an extended-family like mine.

traveling man

since i had visited montreal in the fall, it was only natural that toronto would be my next mini-vacation to the land of wayne gretsky. this moderately uncomfortable bus took me there:

after 8 hours of driving overnight and not being able to sleep a wink, i conveniently fell asleep at the time designated as the time that i should text gazzoo to tell him when exactly i would be arriving at the bus terminal so he could pick me up. thanks to my circadian rhythm, he waited for me for an hour at the terminal. this is what i woke up to:

the first day proved to be pretty misty but in the evening, it cleared up enough for gazzoo to prove his balcony has the best view of the city - and most of all, it's free!

though the weather seemed like it would play fair, it slapped me on the face again on friday when i spent five hours walking 7.3 miles around the city in snowish, slushish weather. i was able to snap this photo of the principal art museum during a break precipitation:

however, since i am a complete cheapo, gazzoo and i opted to go to the donation only galleries instead where we were presented with the opportunity to watch varying kinds of porn and see how a city of projectors and instruments could be connected to make sounds and videos.

saturday allowed me the opportunity to venture out (pun intended) to the village. and while i had already known they filmed queer as folk there, i had figured they would have changed the names of the bars for the show. well, they hadn't. so my tourist attraction of the day instantly became woodys, which is much more expansive on the inside than the bar portrayed on the show.

sunday was my last day in toronto and i couldn't leave without visiting the distillery, for reasons no doubt related to the presence of beer. apparently this location is often used for movie productions such as chicago. again, no doubt related to the close proximity of beer.

all in all, it was a very productive trip of reconnecting with old friends and engaging in copious amounts of rest and relaxation. farewell, farewell sweet city of toronto.

clouds: toronto edition

the weather in canada's most populated city is quite temperamental, which makes for some good cloud photos. i took these while sitting on the beach enjoying a late afternoon picnic lunch with two awesome brown people:

the wait is over

live blogging on a bus with wireless on the way north to toronto for my "vacation," i should be happy.

over the past few weeks, i've realized that although i do want to go back to korea to finish what i started, i actually want to stay in new york more. this is a crazy city and i'm truly in love with living here even if it's not under the best circumstances. this reminded me of some artwork i discovered at the times square NW platform a few weeks back.

unfortunately, after hyping myself up about this teaching fellowship, i received this in my inbox today:

Thank you for your interest in the NYC Teaching Fellows program and the time you have invested in interviewing with us. We have completed a thorough review of your candidacy, and while we were impressed with your background and experience, we are unable to offer you a Fellowship for the upcoming year.

As you may know, the application process for the Teaching Fellows program is extremely competitive. Each year we receive far more applications from qualified individuals than we have positions available, and this year has been especially selective.

so there you have it. 

gratitude

returning to new york was and has been quite challenging, more than expected. fortunately, i have a good family from who i could not have asked for more. even though i may have held back from expressing my gratitude, i have secretly calculated every ounce of generosity and have tallied a list of those people who i honestly, can't thank enough. with a month left, here is an expression of my gratitude, in no particular order.

john strom has humored me several times with his early a.m. gay remix sessions to force me out of my slumber and he was the original wing-man to my regrettably, hard-partying days after i returned from korea. i definitely owe him for getting me a job too so that i didn't completely flounder but for also getting me out of all the shifts i didn't want to work. conversations with the strom proved to be most enjoyable though; we have one of those relationships where we absolutely vibe with each other and cause me to double over in hysterics. he is without a doubt, one of the most unique and interesting people i have ever met.

my other roommate paul isn't so bad either. he pretends like he's not really interested in me because i'm a crazy person but i can tell deep-down, he thrives off of my insanity. i do appreciate him keeping his cool when i've secretly snuck his snacks into my mouth or left the dishes in the sink until the end of the day so i could do them all at once. or for not getting mad at me when i used up all his aveda products (i swear he told me he gets them for free!). and as much as we may bicker like an old married couple, the fun i have having it out with him also leaves me with a huge smile on my face (that leaves many other new yorkers confused as to why i'm so happy!).

let me continue with the boys and thank mister edward, a most unlikely friend. turns out that after living in new york off and on for seven years, someone i had only met a handful of times two years ago would turn out to be quite an available and supportive bestie. i don't know what i did to deserve so much love but it has actually made me feel loved and not like a complete loser. and just when i have edward pegged as a nerd with an edge for fashion, i witness him getting down and dirrrty to the likes of beyonce and kelis and all my preconceived notions of him have gone out the window. in fact, more things may have gone out the window than preconceived notions. like say, restraint. flash-forward to us getting down and dirrrty on the dancefloor together and many great memories flood my mind.

and now for the girls. first up in my girl megan, mostly for rushing out to see me the day after i got in and even more so for putting up with all my bullshit. little did she know that when she put me on her family plan for a cell phone, i would always pay my bill late. i do have to thank her for gifting me her old cell phone too. girl really knows how to make me feel special.

miss d'ne brown ain't too bad either. i was unsure of how our relationship would pick up after two years of my absence but i have realized after the past few months that it's better now than it ever has been. most suprisingly, i am astonished with how unbelievably patient she has been with me, a virtue that doesn't come naturally to her. and we've bumped up the cuddling to kissing! at this rate we'll be heading to the chapel in no time. absolutely no one beats the spontaneity of this girl, a vertible whirlwind wherever we go. you will also be fed well. she is the queen of sharing and will not make any bones about inviting you into her world;  her world is a warm, wonderful world which i love living in. so here's to her too for loving me unconditionally.

my final notable is not for one person, but for all my students. even though the job market may not have worked in my favor, i have been able to do what i love: teach. waking up and going to work everyday is something i'll hate no matter what, but when i get to the classroom and i see the shining smiles of my students, i cheer up. and when i make them laugh with incredibly cheesy jokes, i laugh, loudly and uncontrollably and the hours pass and another day has finished.

and i'm still alive.

thank you family. more than words can even say.

love,
yours truly
stephen