missing

navy blue cotton shorts with a foldover waist detail and cuff

beige boat shorts with wide waistband

navy blue sheen pleated shorts with black button details

tuxedo shorts with pocket flap details

black samsung cell phone that slides open

IF FOUND PLEASE CALL 567-869-6463 (LOST MY MIND)

the kochenash family

as i mature, the more i don't know what to think about my family. i love them, but i really resent all of those things that are out of my control. for example, being raised in such a non-nuclear family. i absolutely regret the fact that my entire family doesn't live close together but moreover, i get upset by some member's complete lack of interest in each other. it's a really hard thing when you carve out a chunk of your life to dedicate to spend time with your family and they don't care. we travel miles to be together and one spends the entire night watching baseball while at the dinner table and the other won't stop flirting with his constant appendages.

most of all though, i'd like to know when family stops being family. when they do you favors but expect something in return? when they continually hold non-issues over your head? when during times of trouble, they prefer to blame you for each and every wrong instead of taking your side?

for these reasons, i don't think i'll ever be close to my family. they certainly don't make it worth it.

my real family is my friends, make no bones about it.

my regularly scheduled programming

well, i'm back in gurnee and there's not much to say about it. so instead of bore you with a recap of my mother's bootcamp, i'll bore you instead with my daily viewing pleasures.

9-10: Oprah
10-11: The View
11-12: The Wendy Williams Show
12-2: Wife Swap
2-3: misc.
3-4: Ellen
4-5: sometimes Tyra, sometimes misc.
5-8: nothing scheduled
8-10: whatever the shows of the night are
Monday: nothing
Tuesday: Idol or Glee
Wednesday: ANTM or Idol
Thursday: Real Housewives
and if I make it until 10.....
10-11: Repeat of The O'Reilly Factor

literally, i have nothing to do here. my biggest acccomplishment has been adjusting to this new television schedule after having eastern pacific airtimes ingrained in my brain. sometimes i work out, depending on how many different gyms i can fool into thinking i'm actually going to join. i cook healthy meals for my mother. i drive places to go exercise and then reflect on the fact that i spend more time actually driving to the place than actually exercising. such is life in the suburbs and boy, i'm really took seemingly unimportant things for granted. like walking. i genuinely miss walking. and not browsing at a store, but straight-up hustlin'.

another thing i miss is old friends but gina will be here soon and so we will be reunited after two years. there's something to look forward to. sometthing.

and the critics say

"you're the best teacher i have ever had"

"you're the right teacher for me."

"you're better than my other teacher [a.k.a. my boss, which i absolutely relish the thought of]"

"you are special."

"you are The One [for her]."

"tell your mom that she has a good boy," told to me by one of my older students.

"lucky forever," obviously written by one my luck-obsessed chinese students.


and my favorite:

"have a nice life!"


i'll try, gueyue. i'll really try.

home shit home

yesterday i said goodbye to 3456 33rd street #11. i could not have known that i would stay there for eight and half months but it was a good time. great location, great neigborhood, great friends. the bug dilemma already seems like a distant memory. or maybe my mind is blocking that memory. here it is, fresh and clean:

pda (i just don't care)

or so says john legend anyway.

i find myself asking myself the same question.

what do you think?

now that i've all but announced to my adult students that i'll be gone in two weeks time, i've found myself with a newfound freedom, divulging more of myself to them than ever before. this includes sexuality, which i don't find appropriate as classroom fodder for any students or teachers in a classroom setting. however, i've been asking myself if i thought it would be okay to let loose a little in social settings.

well let loose i may have done last night when i invited a boy to a party where one of my students was in attendance. considering all of the factors, do you think light pda is appropriate or not within the visibility of your students?

decisions, decisions

i imagine the greater percentage of posts to be posted from here on out will pertain to my departure and this does not differ.

i submitted my resignation today to the lovely american language communication center, about which i have not written much here. i will definitely miss the constant addition of new students to my class who aren't up to speed on grammar and vocabulary as well as promptly decling to substitute teach a class minutes before it starts. i will also miss the funny smell in the teacher's room closet.

but i do give thanks and due respect to my source of weekly paychecks, which are not available for direct deposit.

the backup plan

unlike jennifer lopez, my backup plan is not to have a baby with my best gay friend. in fact, my backup plan far exceeds pregnancy, babies, and falling in love with someone who is not my gbff. it involves the one and only koreauuhhhh.

tonight i leave toronto and tomorrow will be the first day of the end of new york and america, the third time over. more than being nervous about going back to korea though, i am already regretting promising a month stay to my mom at her abode. not because i will get to see my high school bffs, but because my stay will likely end in my mother and i at each other's necks. i can't help but think i'd rather stay in nyc for the month of may and gallivant in the spring sunshine instead of dying a slow miserable death in the 'burbs of chicago.

but for better or for worse, i'm trying to be the best son i can be.

so here's the final two weeks of the city where dreams are made of. and where only in my dreams i could imagined an extended-family like mine.

traveling man

since i had visited montreal in the fall, it was only natural that toronto would be my next mini-vacation to the land of wayne gretsky. this moderately uncomfortable bus took me there:

after 8 hours of driving overnight and not being able to sleep a wink, i conveniently fell asleep at the time designated as the time that i should text gazzoo to tell him when exactly i would be arriving at the bus terminal so he could pick me up. thanks to my circadian rhythm, he waited for me for an hour at the terminal. this is what i woke up to:

the first day proved to be pretty misty but in the evening, it cleared up enough for gazzoo to prove his balcony has the best view of the city - and most of all, it's free!

though the weather seemed like it would play fair, it slapped me on the face again on friday when i spent five hours walking 7.3 miles around the city in snowish, slushish weather. i was able to snap this photo of the principal art museum during a break precipitation:

however, since i am a complete cheapo, gazzoo and i opted to go to the donation only galleries instead where we were presented with the opportunity to watch varying kinds of porn and see how a city of projectors and instruments could be connected to make sounds and videos.

saturday allowed me the opportunity to venture out (pun intended) to the village. and while i had already known they filmed queer as folk there, i had figured they would have changed the names of the bars for the show. well, they hadn't. so my tourist attraction of the day instantly became woodys, which is much more expansive on the inside than the bar portrayed on the show.

sunday was my last day in toronto and i couldn't leave without visiting the distillery, for reasons no doubt related to the presence of beer. apparently this location is often used for movie productions such as chicago. again, no doubt related to the close proximity of beer.

all in all, it was a very productive trip of reconnecting with old friends and engaging in copious amounts of rest and relaxation. farewell, farewell sweet city of toronto.

clouds: toronto edition

the weather in canada's most populated city is quite temperamental, which makes for some good cloud photos. i took these while sitting on the beach enjoying a late afternoon picnic lunch with two awesome brown people: